Why, Hello, My Fine-Looking Fungi
by The Mangosity
Summary: Grandpa wants to break Yugi of his anti-mushroom crusade, and what better way to do this than to fix him up a piping hot plate of sautéed shrooms?


I'm not so sure why my mind came up with this, but all I had to say was "What's the most random thing you can come up with?" and my mind said "Hey…how about this?" This is the same process I used to come up with the title. And the summary.

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Why, Hello, My Fine-Looking Fungi

_Grandpa wants to break Yugi of his anti-mushroom crusade, and what better way to do this than to fix him up a piping hot plate of sautéed shrooms?_

For as long as he's been alive, Yugi has never liked mushrooms. They're sticky and chewy and full of distinct flavor, flavor that screams bloody murder in Yugi's mouth. Mushrooms are the scourge of his very existence. He curses whoever first thought to cultivate mushrooms and deem them an edible source of nutrition. To never have to taste another mushroom again for the rest of his life would be an absolute blessing. His grandfather knows this. His grandfather has _always _known this, and so Yugi doesn't understand why he's sitting at the dinner table staring down at a plate of the finest mushrooms Japan has to offer.

"I'm sorry to say it, Grandpa, but you've wasted your money." Yugi's voice is perilously close to the mocking tone he uses when taunting his dueling opponents, a somewhat disrespectful tone to use when talking to one's grandfather, but his grandfather either doesn't notice or doesn't care.

"I know you don't usually like mushrooms," Grandpa says, "but it's been a while since you last tried them."

"I tried them just last month at one of the school fairs." With a sigh, Yugi slumps his shoulders and shakes his head. "That's the last time I let Téa talk me into anything."

Grandpa knows this isn't the truth even if Yugi doesn't, but he decides not to comment on it.

"Go on and try them, Yugi," he insists, goading him with a gentle squeeze of his shoulder. "I bought them from that gourmet grocery store that just opened down the street."

The intense gaze Yugi has fixed on the mushrooms doesn't soften.

"And I tried to make them exactly the way your grandmother used to." This seems to strike a chord with Yugi, and so Grandpa takes the opportunity to say, "Tell you what: you try mushrooms one last time, and I promise I'll never make you set foot near another mushroom ever again."

"You promise?" Yugi shoots back.

"You have my word as an archeologist."

"Do you swear on your Ph.D?"

"Let's not get too ahead of ourselves, now."

Yugi frowns but picks up his fork nonetheless. Just stabbing the fork into the pile of fungi adorning his plate is enough to make his stomach gurgle unpleasantly. When he has the fork halfway to his mouth and turns to look back at his grandfather, the old man seems far too expectant for Yugi not to be suspicious. However, if this really is the last time he'll ever have to taste mushrooms again for the rest of his life, his grandfather can be whatever way he wants.

Yugi makes a face and shoves the fork in his mouth as quickly as he can, and then his eyes go wide. He chews with far too much gusto for someone who claims to be the enemy of all things mushroom.

"Grandpa, I…" Yugi hesitates, his expression a combination of shock and rapture. "These mushrooms, they're…"

"Yes?"

"This is the best thing I've ever tasted in my _life_." He stops to pile several more delicious morsels into his mouth. "I can't get enough of them!"

"I can break out the old copy of _Green Eggs and Ham _if you want."

Yugi doesn't answer him. He's too busy indulging in the thing he's spent the last fifteen years telling his grandfather he would cut his own arm off to avoid eating.

Grandpa chuckles and pats his grandson on the back. "I knew you would like them, Yugi." He goes to help himself to a generous serving of mushrooms. "Sometimes you have to grow up a little bit to appreciate the fine taste of a gourmet mushroom."

In reality, these mushrooms are none of the things Grandpa proclaimed them to be. Though he did try his best to replicate Grandmother Moto's infamous recipe for sautéed mushrooms, the very dish that paved her way into his heart, these mushrooms are no more gourmet than the beer Joey's father likes to buy. They're mushrooms from the half-off section down at the grocery store, which are probably a day in the refrigerator away from giving Yugi the worst case of food poisoning of his life. What he found out today was definitely worth risking Yugi's intestinal health, though. Grandpa no longer has any doubt in his mind that the story Yugi told about freeing the spirit of an ancient pharaoh to inhabit his body is true. It's the only logical reason for why Yugi is currently begging his grandfather for a second helping. Mushrooms were the nameless pharaoh's favored delicacy.

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**Author's Note: **Although this idea was completely random, I did a little research after I was done writing to see how common mushrooms were in ancient Egypt. It turns out they were reserved for royalty, so mushrooms being "the nameless pharaoh's favored delicacy" makes historical sense! That was a pleasant surprise.


End file.
